Romans 8:28

Ah, Romans 8:28. It seems to be my mantra over the past two, VERY stressful, weeks. "All things work together for good for those that love God, and are called according to His purpose." Two weeks ago today our AC died. We knew it was not long for this world as it was original to the house.... The house that was built in 1984. But knowing the day was coming and actually having it arrive are two very separate things.

We were not quite prepared for the $6000 price tag that comes along with a new unit. But in spite of the sticker shock, this broken AC was such a blessing. When the kind repairman came out to diagnose our trouble, he told us that we were lucky that it broke when it did. If we had run our heater this winter the unit would have been spitting out massive amounts of carbon monoxide. See, Romans 8:28...God uses all things. Here I was frustrated and upset about a broken air conditioner, but all the while my Heavenly Father was saving us from what may very well have been a tragic situation.

I never thought I would be so thankful for a broken appliance. I just love how our Father takes care of us. Many times, it's so hard to see His will..... It's not always quite so blatant as it was in our situation. But I know that no matter what, He has a plan. He has a reason for what is happening. And it may take months or even years for His will to be revealed, but just know that He will reveal it.

So now when I look at the bank balance sheet and see that our savings has been depleted, I know why. And come this winter when we're running the heater, I will praise God and thank Him for keeping us safe.

Seasons

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed lately. With two under two I struggle with keeping up with housework, laundry and general household maintenace. And maybe it's just me, but when I get behind, I then get overwhelmed. I struggle with where to spend my time. Toilet rings are calling my name, as are the behemoth pile of laundry and the wood floors that never seem to sparkle as they should. It can really get to me if I let it.

I know there will be time to clean house when the kiddos are bigger, but I'm not someone who tolerates dirt and grime so well. You laugh, I'm sure, knowing that I have two under two....Dirt and grime is a way of life. But right or wrong, I feel like much of my identity is tied to how clean and organized my home is. I'm a stay at home mom, part of my job description is to take care of my house. And right now, I feel like I'm failing. Hats off to the moms who can do it all and do it well. Currently, I'm doing good if everyone has clean underwear and I can get dinner on the table.

But this is a season, and I know it will be over all too quickly. I love these babies so much and I want to savor this time with them. But boy is it hard not to feel guilty when I see the dust bunny in the corner.

Time to breathe

Well, I'm finally returning to the blogging world after a year long absence. As a mother to a 20 month old and an almost 7 month old, free time is not part of my vocabulary. But boy do I love those babies. My life has changed sooo much in the last 3 years. Sometimes I miss the fast pace and big city life that I left behind, but then I look at the faces of my babies, hear their laughs and it all makes sense.... At least until the next melt down or poopy diaper.

Attitude adjustment....

God has been working on my heart and attitude of late. You see, about 2 weeks before Jacob turned 6 months old, we found out we were expecting again. And let me tell you, I was NOT a happy camper. The phrase "weeping and gnashing of teeth" may well describe my reaction. All I kept thinking was, "I HAVE a baby, I don't need another one!".

And my sweet wonderful husband was just as happy as he could be, and that REALLY aggravated me! I wanted him to be just as upset as I was. If he was happy about it, it made my reaction seem wrong. So along we went, I called the doctor and made my first appointment. They like to see you between 8-10 weeks... well I was pushing it out as late as possible. I was trying to avoid the fact that we really were expecting again.

Our appointment was this past Monday and all is well. We are the proud parents of a spud with nubs. While in the ultrasound, the technician mentioned that the women in just before me had lost her baby. They were able to see it, but there was no heartbeat. Sad, but I went on to the next part of the appointment. While waiting in the room for the Doctor, the door was open and I could hear this woman... sobbing. She was about 10 weeks along as well and she was brokenhearted about her loss. Those sobs just wrecked my heart. Here I was with a beautiful baby at home, and a healthy baby on the way... a baby that I was truly not happy about.

It hit me at that moment how tremendously blessed I was. And I began to pray. I prayed for this woman and her loss, I prayed for this baby growing inside me, and I prayed for my attitude. I am so thankful that God blesses us even through our bad attitudes. You see, that very well could have been me. With as rotten as I was being, I deserved it. But God used that experience to tweak my heart, to tweak my attitude. He used it to show me how truly blessed I am. To show me how precious this little life is and I know He will be with me as I mother a 13 month old and a newborn. Am I scared... YES! But we can do this. I'm guessing the next 3-5 years are going to be quite a ride. But oh what fun we're going have!

Jacob smiling and cooing