Attitude adjustment....

God has been working on my heart and attitude of late. You see, about 2 weeks before Jacob turned 6 months old, we found out we were expecting again. And let me tell you, I was NOT a happy camper. The phrase "weeping and gnashing of teeth" may well describe my reaction. All I kept thinking was, "I HAVE a baby, I don't need another one!".

And my sweet wonderful husband was just as happy as he could be, and that REALLY aggravated me! I wanted him to be just as upset as I was. If he was happy about it, it made my reaction seem wrong. So along we went, I called the doctor and made my first appointment. They like to see you between 8-10 weeks... well I was pushing it out as late as possible. I was trying to avoid the fact that we really were expecting again.

Our appointment was this past Monday and all is well. We are the proud parents of a spud with nubs. While in the ultrasound, the technician mentioned that the women in just before me had lost her baby. They were able to see it, but there was no heartbeat. Sad, but I went on to the next part of the appointment. While waiting in the room for the Doctor, the door was open and I could hear this woman... sobbing. She was about 10 weeks along as well and she was brokenhearted about her loss. Those sobs just wrecked my heart. Here I was with a beautiful baby at home, and a healthy baby on the way... a baby that I was truly not happy about.

It hit me at that moment how tremendously blessed I was. And I began to pray. I prayed for this woman and her loss, I prayed for this baby growing inside me, and I prayed for my attitude. I am so thankful that God blesses us even through our bad attitudes. You see, that very well could have been me. With as rotten as I was being, I deserved it. But God used that experience to tweak my heart, to tweak my attitude. He used it to show me how truly blessed I am. To show me how precious this little life is and I know He will be with me as I mother a 13 month old and a newborn. Am I scared... YES! But we can do this. I'm guessing the next 3-5 years are going to be quite a ride. But oh what fun we're going have!