Friday, May 18, 2007

Thank God for unanswered prayers

To steal a line from Garth Brooks, "thank God for unanswered prayers". I just recently joined a womens prayer group, and we are now currently in the midst of the Beth Moore study, "A Heart Like His". This study delves in depth in to the story of David. Now I personally love David, I've always felt a sort of kinship with him as he's so "human". Basically, he made a LOT of mistakes. And yet, the Lord LOVED David.... I mean, he was a man "after God's own heart". How amazing is that!?! David was rash, he was impulsive, but he was also incredibly repentant. His intentions were right, simply misguided.

This is exactly how I feel. You know how God tells us to be sly as serpants and gentle as doves....well I've got the sly thing down, but I'm about as gentle as a Mac Truck. It's just not my nature to sit back and watch....I'm a doer. But Christ tells us to rise above our own nature and take on His. No matter what "I" would do, I have to do what Christ would do. ......and how humbling to know that boy do I have a long way to go.

Back to unanswered prayers. This thing that I have been praying for, this thing that has taken up so much of my time. I've released it. It's not about me, it's not about IT, it's about God, and my relationship with Him. When God says no or doesn't answer a prayer like we wanted, he ALWAYS has something better in mind....ALWAYS! "Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong, they are weak but He is strong". ......I am weak, BUT....He is strong...... Nuff said

Another little tidbit from Beth Moore...... During the study last night, I came accross something quite profound...or at least I found it to be so. In her studyguide, Beth talks about having "faith in faith" rather than having "faith in the living God". Now I don't know about you, but that rocked me. Do you know how often I put my faith in faith!! Sometimes, I get so caught up in the process, that I forget WHO it is that I should truly be focusing on. What good is faith if you aren't trusting in God. How far are you going to get on an empty tank?? You get caught up in sacrifice, rather than obedience.

WOW! Where have I been?? Why am I only now beginning to work at my relationship with Him?? I mean, HELLO, I grew up in a Christian home, went to a Christian College....... Again, where have I been???

It's been an interesting week to say the least, but I'm so glad that Christ is working. "How loving and patient He must be......cause He's still working on me" ....... AMEN!

Monday, May 14, 2007

Speed bump ahead

You know, I was forewarned that when you are truly reaching that closeness with the lord and you really feel like your relationship has finally reached the pinnacle......BOOM! That's when the devil strikes.

Sure enough, his attacks have begun. They started on Saturday, just a general sense of ennui, and the feeling grew yesterday, and was fairly full blown today. It's just a sense of feeling like God has forgotten me a bit.

I've been praying about something in particular for at least the past month, possibly more. I have been devoting myself in prayer and fasting and I've waited for an answer from the Lord, and still nothing. No answer, no general sense of any kind. And I know that God's timing is never what ours is, but I've been faithful to this and I was hoping that He would see me through.

I know that He will. My head knows that He is still there, but my heart is feeling a wee bit left behind. And my attitude has gotten a bit stinky because of how I am feeling. That is OF COURSE straight from the devil. But, in spite of my feelings, I still know that He will answer me, I just need to WAIT!!

That is of course the ONE thing I don't want to do. I don't like to WAIT. I'm all about instant gratification. The Lord knows this, which is of course why I am being directed to wait. He's working on me. This is the reason that I NEVER pray for patience....He gives it to me.

So while I am not at a spiritual high at the moment, I do know that God is here. He's listening, and no matter how I feel, I know that He has not forgotten me. He loves me and He will answer me in His time, not mine.

So pray for me, particularly for my attitiude. And whatever you do, please don't pray for patience......