Attitude adjustment....

God has been working on my heart and attitude of late. You see, about 2 weeks before Jacob turned 6 months old, we found out we were expecting again. And let me tell you, I was NOT a happy camper. The phrase "weeping and gnashing of teeth" may well describe my reaction. All I kept thinking was, "I HAVE a baby, I don't need another one!".

And my sweet wonderful husband was just as happy as he could be, and that REALLY aggravated me! I wanted him to be just as upset as I was. If he was happy about it, it made my reaction seem wrong. So along we went, I called the doctor and made my first appointment. They like to see you between 8-10 weeks... well I was pushing it out as late as possible. I was trying to avoid the fact that we really were expecting again.

Our appointment was this past Monday and all is well. We are the proud parents of a spud with nubs. While in the ultrasound, the technician mentioned that the women in just before me had lost her baby. They were able to see it, but there was no heartbeat. Sad, but I went on to the next part of the appointment. While waiting in the room for the Doctor, the door was open and I could hear this woman... sobbing. She was about 10 weeks along as well and she was brokenhearted about her loss. Those sobs just wrecked my heart. Here I was with a beautiful baby at home, and a healthy baby on the way... a baby that I was truly not happy about.

It hit me at that moment how tremendously blessed I was. And I began to pray. I prayed for this woman and her loss, I prayed for this baby growing inside me, and I prayed for my attitude. I am so thankful that God blesses us even through our bad attitudes. You see, that very well could have been me. With as rotten as I was being, I deserved it. But God used that experience to tweak my heart, to tweak my attitude. He used it to show me how truly blessed I am. To show me how precious this little life is and I know He will be with me as I mother a 13 month old and a newborn. Am I scared... YES! But we can do this. I'm guessing the next 3-5 years are going to be quite a ride. But oh what fun we're going have!

Jacob smiling and cooing

My adorable little pumpkin

I just had to post a photo of my little cutie in his Halloween outfit. Thank goodness for kids consignment sales. This outfit was all of $5.... And even though he'll only wear it for an hour or two, it was worth every penny.

I mean the photo op alone was worth $5 :)

I'm TIRED!!!

Ok, so they made their decision....NO INDUCTION!!! Can you tell that I'm a wee bit miffed :) Oh bless, I am so ready to have this wonderful, sweet baby.

In my heart I know that God is in this decision, but I so had my heart set on being done. Bill and I have prayed fervently that God would bring Jacob in His time, and not ours. So I've got a peace about that, but when you haven't slept in a month and a half and you can barely walk due to a certain baby sitting ON your sciatic nerve, it's really hard to wrap your brain around the fact that this can go on indefinitely.

Pregnancy truly is an amazing process. God gets you started with the excitement of the first trimester. Yes you feel like you're about to toss your cookies at any second, but there's something so exciting in knowing that there is a little life growing inside you.

And then you get to the second trimester when you begin to connect with this baby growing inside. You begin to feel them and they start responding to you and it touches your heart in a way I never thought possible.

Then you enter the third trimester. And the beginning isn't so bad. Yes you're beginning to look like a small barge, but you also get to watch as your baby rips and rolls across that huge belly. No longer do you simply feel those kicks and rolls from the inside... they're now visible on the outside as well. Yes, your husband may think it's weird and you look like you've got an alien on board, but it's so much fun to watch as your belly takes on a mind of it's own. I've never been so obsessed with my own body. I still walk around with my hands clasped to my tummy. Just loving the feel of Jacob as he moves and responds to one stimuli or another.

But then you enter the END of the third trimester... No one tells you that you can literally grow 6 inches overnight. I know this to be true.. .it happened to me. There was one weekend that Bill and I could physically watch my belly get bigger. That's a disconcerting process. It's amazing and scary all rolled in to one. For the first time in your life you have absolutely NO control over what is happening in your own body. Crazy!! But beautiful. And then the baby drops, and you can now breathe, but you have to tinkle every five minutes. And even if you don't HAVE to tinkle you FEEL like you do. I sincerely thought about purchasing a set of Depends. And then the baby drops even more, and now he's sitting on your tailbone or your sciatic nerve. And let me tell you, that is a special feeling. Walking becomes something you do only if you have to... and sitting is pretty much the same. Oh and sleep...HAH!! If I get three hours a night I consider it a good night. But again, this is just God's way of preparing us for the joy that is to come. For the amazing ride that motherhood will bring.

So I'm ready for the next step. I'm done with the pregnancy part, let's bring on the baby.

It won't be long now....

Well, we're almost there. I went for a check up today and the Doctor is currently deciding whether or not to induce me. They ran some tests and will make the final determination by tomorrow afternoon. If they decide to induce, they're going to do so on Wednesday. So we're gearing up and hoping for a baby sooner rather than later.

It's so hard to believe that Jacob might actually be here on Wednesday!!

Right now our prayer is that we go in to labor naturally... I've heard it's a much easier process that way. But either way, we know that God is in control and He will carry us through. I'm not nervous yet, I just keep thinking about this precious little boy and I am SOOO excited to finally meet him.

I say that now of course, when there are no contractions and no pain. But I hope to remain calm through it all.

So pray for us please!!